HEY GUYS FROM ASECNA ...A Funny Story by Mayaba TCHALLA

It was the 7th October 2007, a sunny Sunday. It was the first really sunny day since we came to Bristol two weeks ago. I decided that spending this colourful day at home would be a scandalous sin, so I thought it would be good to go and see this circus on the Downs: The Moscow State Circus.
I spent 3 hours doing my homework and I left home at 12 am. I took a bus to the centre and I walked to the school on Lower Park Row. I didn’t know where the Downs was but I was told that from the school I had to walk straight and I would reach my attraction for the day. So I walked, and walked, and walked, asking from time to time to pedestrians if I was going the right way to the Downs. It took 1 hour and a half to reach the place and enjoy the Circus.
It was great; the performers were skilful. I saw acrobats, magicians, clowns, a tightrope walker and ballet dancers…. After the two hour show I left the Downs, my head full of dreams. It was 4 o’clock and the sun was shining in a cloudless sky. I was happy and grateful to God for giving me such a beautiful day.
I started walking to the school from where I would have to reach my bus stop in the city centre, near the Bristol Hippodrome. I was confident that I had taken the right way and I was thinking of my evening activities and the coming week’s courses. I was pleased to walk but I began to feel tired and I was in a real hurry to reach the school. You can imagine my happiness when I saw the fish and chip shop that I seemingly recognised because I thought I was not far from a good seat and a moment of rest. It was 5.30 pm and once again I raised my eyes, confident that I would see the Red Lodge which is near the school but to my surprise I saw… the beautiful lights of the Moscow State Circus. So after 1 hour and a half of walking, I was lost.

HEY GUYS FROM ASECNA: some advice about coming to BRISTOL, by Helinirina

Do you realise that you are going to spend four weeks in one of the biggest cities in England, BRISTOL?
It may seem a long time at the beginning, but in fact it is not enough to discover the numerous and wonderful sides of Bristol. Shops, museums, a zoo, there are a lot of places to visit…

Weather
I know we all come from a country which is hotter, so in Bristol you will surely feel cold. So wear warm clothes to be in good health, and never forget your umbrella because it may rain at anytime!!

Shopping
You may not be a fashion victim but you will soon discover BROADMEAD, the shopping center which is not far from the school and where you can find anything you want. If you are interested in Computer Science, in Music, in Sport, in shoes or in clothes, you are going to find something you like. Whatever you want for your wife or husband, family or friend, you will get something special there. Broadmead is rich in its numerous shops.
Also if you have an opportunity to go to The MALL in Cribbs Causeway, it is a real cavern of treasures! You should go just to see how huge the shopping center is! It is incredible with a lot of shops and of course a huge car park. You may need a new suitcase!! However, you will find there are lots of different places to go shopping in Bristol.

Places to visit in and around Bristol
Bristol is not only famous for its shopping centres, it has also many interesting museums such as the Red Lodge, which is free. Also along Park Row, not far from our school, you will see Bristol’s City Museum and Art Gallery. During our stay, there was an exhibition about the history of Benin, so it was interesting to find out how our history is told and shown abroad. There is also the British Empire and Commonwealth Museum at Temple Meads, and don’t forget the Clifton Suspension Bridge, the symbol of Bristol. Also you should visit the SS Great Britain, built by the engineer, Isambard Kingdom BRUNEL who came to Bristol in the 19th century. The zoo is also a good place for a day out. These are only some few ideas about Bristol’s culture but you can visit other Museums on the outskirts of the town.

The Social Programme
Before ending, I will suggest you take part in the social programme because you will discover more about British culture and it is a real opportunity to visit different places: Cardiff with its wonderful sports stadium and its beautiful castle, the great window of the Abbey and the Roman baths in Bath. The trip to London is the most exciting and impressive because you see Buckingham Palace, the famous Big Ben, the London Eye…

Hey guys! Three weekends are not sufficient to know enough about Bristol. By yourself you will discover lots of pubs and cafes when going out with other students.
Just few suggestions but I hope you find them quite useful.
So keep warm, enjoy your stay in Bristol and don’t forget to share your experience!

ASECNA group B present their top ten self study tips

Top Ten Self Study tips for the future ASECNA groups

1. Always use the dictionaries and preferably a mono-lingual one.

2. Improve your vocabulary by taking notes of new words learnt through the listening and reading exercises.

3. Use the computer programs available in the self access room to improve your listening and pronunciation.

4. Speak English as much as possible.

5. Always do your homework!

6. Do not hesitate to ask the teachers to help you.

7. Use the vocabulary and grammar books that are available.

8. Ask your tutor and self study teacher for help concerning your homework.

9. Don't miss the class. Be on time.

10. Share what you learn with your classmates.

Emeline Bac's House of Horror

That day was special. Emilie was getting married and all the family was present to celebrate this event. After a wonderful dinner and several hours dancing, Ben and I and my parents in law decided to leave the party. The night was cold, without any clouds. The moon was shining, therefore no lights were necessary to find our car. As we were driving back home, some thin patches of fog appeared on the road. The lines were moving like waves under the car lights. We crossed several woods. My mother in law and I were joking about the gloomy situation when we suddenly heard the car spluttering! Ben tried to restart it without any success so we decided to go to the nearest farm “Le Jaqueterie” to get some help or at least to phone somebody, as there wasn’t any cover. We weren’t joking any more. The song of some birds gave us goose pimples. We all left the car with only a torch to get your bearings. Every animal noise was multiplied by the silence of the night. The patches of fog weren’t improving the situation. We were so scared. But after 20 minutes s walk we could make out the farm and the shape of a person. We tried to call him thinking it was the owner. But our voice couldn’t reach him. We were heading for the farm. Once we arrived, we knocked at the door without getting any answer. The door was half-opened. The situation was scary. We entered the house. Some blood was on the ground, we found two bodies lying there. My father in law tried to resuscitate them. Then we heard a noise at our backs. We turned round and a man with an axe was in the door frame. We tried to escape, but it was too late. The men were trying to kill my mother in law. She was injured and was bleeding a lot. We went upstairs, but we were rapidly stuck. We were hidden in a closet, so the murderer went to the second floor. We took advantage of that to escape. We ran towards the woods. We didn’t have time to phone the police. We spent the rest of the night waiting in the forest. We were spying every noise. When the sun rose we walked to the next house. We saw police cars at “Le Jaqueterie”. A policeman had found the 2 bodies and was telling us that a psychopath had escaped from a hospital and was probably at the origin. A policeman drove us back home.

The night after, as everybody was in bed, we heard some strange noises coming from the front door. We got down to see what was happening when we saw …..

Our Trip to Mexico, by Caroline Dubois

Two years ago we went to Mexico for 2 weeks. It was supposed to be “the trip of a lifetime”, but it was definitely not. We had to take off from Brussels on the 10th August but the airport staff went on an unexpected strike so we weren’t able to take off until the 12th.
When we arrived in Mexico the weather was wonderful and everything seemed to be back to normal again, so we decided to forget about the problems of the journey. We took a taxi which was supposed to bring us to our hotel. The taxi driver dropped us in front of a waste ground! There was no “Luxurious Palace” and “the immense swimming pool with turquoise water” did not exist. Certainly we had a “wonderful view on the sea” but the hotel we were supposed to stay in only existed in the property developer’s mind!
As it was getting dark we tried to find somewhere to spend the night. Unfortunately all the hotels in the vicinity were full. We had no other choice: we would have to spend the night on the beach! With loads of difficulties I managed to get to sleep, but at 3 am I was roughly awakened by a police patrol. It was forbidden to sleep on the beach. After having suffered a forceful questioning by 2 surly policemen we were released.
At 11 am this day we found a small hotel in which there were some free rooms. The place was dirty and smelly but it was our only solution. It was a seedy spot and the clientele were of a bit of a dubious nature, we really “were in touch with local people and local customs”!
The day after we finally found a nice hotel to stay in. It was quite far from the beach, but at least it was clean! We were just starting to enjoy ourself when a terrible hurricane hit. There were heavy rains and strong winds for 3 days and it was impossible to leave the hotel. Thank goodness that “the Mexican weather is know for its sunshine”.
When the storm had calmed down we decided to go sight-seeing. There was a Mayan pyramid not far from the town where we stayed so we went to visit it. The archaeological sight was in the jungle, therefore there were loads of wild animals in the area. The ruins were majestic and we had a very good time till we came across a huge snake. We were so afraid that we run out of the place!
We spent the last days of our holiday enjoying the pool and sunbathing. At least there was no other catatrophies. We already had our share of bad surprises. It was to have been “the trip of my lifetime” but it was the most terrible holiday ever!

A Horror Story, by Amelie

Once upon a time a tall black greasy-haired, white-faced man won the National Lottery. He bought an old hotel in a dark forest and rebuilt it.
He had a very difficult childhood, he was an orphan. He lost his mother when he was 10, she’s been raped and stabbed. And he’d never knew his father.
He opened which was a very posh and luxurious hotel. All the jet set came in and they never came back.
During the first night, secret walls went out from the floor and all the guests were imprisoned.
The boss kept them in a tiny fenced room, they couldn’t get out. And when the man was hungry he choose one of the guest and cut an arm or leg even brain!
People cried and screamed in the cold night, they were scarried.
5 years later there was only one out of 255 guests left. He cold fight the man when he came to kill him. And the guest ate the dark man.
The story restarted there…

Difference Between The West And The East, by Natalia Concha Ocampo

The most outstanding difference is the general knowledge and the old traditions of the East compared to the West. Today the governments of Western countries protect the rights of women and their liberty. Today there are still a lot of women who depend on men. Another difference is respect for others and manners of the people in the East. In some countries like Japan or China, respect is the most representative image for the rest of the word.

In the West, contrary to the East, there are a lot of problems with the feeding of the young people (anorexia, bulimia). The young people are less polite than the young people of the East.

Thanks to the internet and globalization this two cultures have recently started to change. Now the young people of the East are as eccentric as the young people of the West. Eastern food is as international as Western food. And younger woman are more and more fulfilled in the East.

Good Luck Hotel, by Samuel Roldan

It was Friday. I was in my job tidying a lot of documents when my boss appeared and said to me: “Hey, Sam, the company has breakdown. Today is our last day. You do anything you want. I am going to go up to the terrace roof”. “Anything I want” I thought. Immediately I looked for a trip to Egypt on Internet, it’s a dream that I have always had: the pyramids, the river, the magic carpets … I found an irresistible offer, a flight charter supercheap, but I had to travel that night. So I booked it and I start to run. I didn’t have much time. On the parking of the company I saw to my boss stuck dangerously on the terrace roof.

“I’m going to Egypt, now!” I said, “Good luck” he replied. I think in that moment a doom fell over me. On the highway I took a short cut but I found a big traffic jam, in my neighbourhood didn’t have electricity and at home, in the darkness, my dog didn’t recognize me and he bit me several times. How there isn’t light I only could catch my toothbrush and the money. When I arrive at the airport I was exhausted and I was so hungry I could eat a horse. In Passport Control I had a lot of problems. You can’t imagine how strange is a sweaty tired man with bites and blood on his trousers without a suit case and trying to fly to a Arabian country. At last I passed to the Departure Lounge and went around in the duty-free. There I could buy toothpaste and cigarettes. I rested a little before take off on a silver scrap nightmare. When we landed I got my knees and crying I kissed the ground. I didn’t have problems with the suitcase, I didn’t have one. I took a taxi to my hotel, it was “Good Luck Hotel”.

The Tree of Language, by Stefano Schiaffi

Most linguists believe that all the different languages of the world have sprung from an ancient single language just like branches of a single tree.

The first to undergo this kind of research was Sir William Jones, who noticed in 1786 that Latin, Greek and Sanskrit had striking similarities that couldn’t merely put down to chance.

This being the first of many remarks, research has gone on to identify a protolanguage named proto-Indo-European, spoken perhaps 7000 years ago, the vocabulary of which gives extremely interesting hints about different aspects of ancient cultures, e.g. pointing out habits like farming or domesticating animals. This protolanguage is thought to have been spoken in the Transcaucasus, from whence it spread eastwards towards the far-east and westwards towards Europe.

Despite research upon proto-Indo-European is now close to completion, or perhaps just because of that, some linguists have come up with the idea that proto-Indo-European is just a branch of a more ancient language which they’ve called Nostratic and which is supposed to have been spoken 15000 years ago. As a consequence, it shouldn’t make any distinctions between wild and domesticating animals, nor should it have any words for crop, thus reflecting an earlier stage of human civilisation.

Even if not all linguists agree with this theory, as stated above most admit that the monogenesis of language is plausible and that leads them to another amazing theory: perhaps it was thanks to the use of language that the homo sapiens was able to survive at the expenses of the Neanderthals.

A Poem, by Richard and Stefano

[I have no idea what this poem is about – so I guess it has been a successful effort! - Ed.]


Your armpits smell so nice
I want to eat you with some rice
You have my shoulder to cry on
And me you can rely on

First sight was so hair-raising
But then, I turned a blind eye to your friends
Once, and in the very, very end
Your groans and calls were heart-rending

When I see your thighs
I have butterflies in my tummy
I was all fingers and thumbs when you touch my temple
Or hit my shin, for example

Tried keeping a straight face
But I lost the wisdom teeth race
You win hands down
Your skin turns brown.

Invading advertising, by Clothilde Gonthier

Nowadays advertisements are really everywhere. We cannot escape them. Indeed they are on TV, on the radio, on billboards in the streets. It could be tolerable if the rate of advertisements was not increasing all the time, however this is the case. Managers try to find new advertising media, maybe because we pay less attention to adverts than we used to, precisely because they are everywhere. For example, in America, marketing executives gave free computers to different schools in exchange for advertising their brands on exercise book-covers. So advertisements are now coming into classrooms.
In France, we may see adverts in the sky near beaches. Indeed managers make advertising campaigns by means of planes. Plane tow advertising streamers, which is a good way to attract people’s attention. Additionally, we can imagine that in the future we will hear adverts when we are sleeping on the underground, in order to convince our subconscious minds to buy the product.

A (fictional) letter to The Times protesting the smoking ban, by Anne-Sophie

Dear Sir

I am writing to the Newspaper to complain about our “Nanny State” and more specifically against the smoking ban

I am a heavy smoker as I started when I was 18 and I never stopped. I smoke about 20 cigarettes a day.

For me, to smoke is a choice. I have enough money to buy cigarettes, I like smoking and I don’t think that smoking makes you die earlier. I know many old people who have smoking all their lives and are still in good health. If these people had to to stop smoking, I am sure they would become depressed.

I enjoy smoking when I am in a pub with friends who smoke or not, and if they don’t want me to smoke or if there is a baby near I don’t. But to make a law about it is completely stupid. Cigarette kill fewer people then cars so why don’t we pass a law against driving cars?

I think the government has to decide things for our country but you treat us like babies is not a good thing: liberties are being gradually taken away. To be able to choose your way of life is the more important freedom I think, and as I smoke I don’t want to be seen as a second class citizen which the government encourages non-smokers to see me as.

My last point is that the government will have less revenue from the taxes on cigarettes and we will be taxed in another way.

I respect people who don’t want to be passive smokers and I hope that you will respect my point of view.

Anne-Sophie

New Year’s Day in Korea, by Chung Young Hyun

In Korea we have a special day which is called Solnal. This holiday is on New Year’s Day which for countries with the solar calendar is on January 1st. However, in Korea, it is usually in February by the lunar system (we have 3 days holiday and the middle day of this is Solnal). Solnal is the biggest national holiday! Actually Solnal is based on the worship of our ancestors and is a very sacred time. Also we have a happy and comfortable time escaped from the strain of living in our industrial society. So Solnal is a very meaningful holiday in Korea. All the people go to the house of the oldest son of the family like hometown. All of the relatives come together in this house and celebrate an ancestor-memorial rite, play various games and eat food together. So in this situation we can think about being one race and having unity with relatives. So Solnal has a more important meaning than just holidays.

In this holiday there is a special food which we have to eat. This is a slice of rice-cake soup which is representative food in this holiday. (We make a thin rice-cake in an edible shape) so when we have this food, we get one year older. This is a tradition in Solnal and we also have various foods, fruits and alcoholic drinks with our family. After we do some rites, we eat food which is prepared for our ancestors on the table.

We have special clothes which we wear in Solnal. They are called New Year’s clothes and Hanbok. This is a Korean costume. It is gorgeous and has various colours. So it is beautiful, especially when children wear this costume. When we go to celebrate a rite and greet our relatives. We also wear these clothes.

We have a traditional rite which is called ancestor-worship ceremony. First, we put around a folding screen and then in front of this, we put the table which is prepared with a lot of food and alcohol. Then all the men bow to the table several times, however women can’t bow because of tradition, which is based on thought for preference of men. This ceremony is the greeting to our ancestors. So after the ceremony, talking with family, we eat this food together and after the meal we also bow to our grandparents, parents and our senior to greet them. If juniors bow to seniors, they give them fruit and well-wishing remarks which is some good advice and conversation. For children they give money. This is also a tradition in this holiday.

We can play various traditional games. For example, game of Yut, seesawing and spinning top games etc. First, game of Yut use four sticks and there are some checkers and if we throw sticks on the floor there is a number and we go to the finish point. Then seesawing is similar to the seesaw in England. However in Korea two women stand on the end of the side and one woman jumps then another jumps. This action is repeated. They can get very high so sometimes, it looks dangerous, but it is very funny. Finally the spinning top game, where we spin the spinning top with a whip, is interesting. So we can play a match with my relatives on the frozen river. And we fly a kite in the sky. There is a very interesting and enjoyable game with families like this traditional game.

After 3 days, although we again come back to our own homes and jobs, we don’t forget this time and feel happy so we will wait for another holiday and gathering with families. In Korea, there is another holiday like Solnal so Koreans can continue to meet with their families and relatives during the year and they spend their important times with their families. I think, our holiday is a very valuable and meaningful day.

Watch This Space! The Social Programme over the next two weeks

Tuesday 9 October – Tea & Coffee at Brown’s

http://www.browns-restaurants.com/menu-bristol.php

Enjoy a relaxing break at Brown’s Café and Restaurant in the heart of the university district. A full English-style tea set will be provided.

Thursday 11 October – Cinema (tbc)


Saturday 13 October – Day Trip to London

London is very large and quite expensive, but you will never have a problem finding something you want to do. Check out http://www.visitlondon.com/ for some ideas.



Tuesday 16 October – Harbour Walk

See some of the sights of Bristol's harbourside area. Enjoy a drink at the Cottage Inn on Baltic Wharf.

1 Prince's Wharf, including the Bristol Harbour Railway and Industrial Museum, Pyronaut
2 Dry docks, SS Great Britain, The Matthew
3 St Augustine's Reach, Pero's Bridge
4 Bathurst Basin
5 Queen Square
6 Bristol Temple Meads railway station
7 Castle Park
8 Redcliffe Quay
9 Baltic Wharf marina
10 Cumberland Basin & Brunel Locks
11 The New Cut
12 Netham Lock, entrance to the Feeder Canal
13 Totterdown Basin
14 Temple Quay
15 St Augustine's Parade
16 Canons Marsh, including Millennium Square and At-Bristol
17 Underfall Yard
18 Bristol Bridge

Thursday 18 October – Cassandra the Storyteller

Listen to some exciting stories from Cassandra, a master of story-telling. Cassandra has presented stories to students of all ages all around the world and challanges the audience to question what they hear.

Saturday 20 October – Bristol Zoo

http://www.bristolzoo.org.uk/

What’s on in Bristol In October and November?

SPORT
Well, finally the English football season has started, with the added excitement of the forthcoming Euro 2008 qualifiers. You can watch Premier League games in pubs on Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays - it's the best way to mix with native speakers!

Follow these links to find out more about Bristol Teams:

Bristol Rovers http://www.bristolrovers.premiumtv.co.uk/page/Home/0,,10328,00.html

Bristol City http://www.bcfc.co.uk/page/Home/

Bristol Rugby http://bristol.officialshop.net/home.php

If football’s not your cup of tea, join us in supporting England against Australia in the Rugby Quarter-final in Marseille on 6 October.

FASHION
As a change from sport, visit The Mall at Cribbs Causeway for Fashion Week, running until 7 October. Fashion expert Mark Heyes knows all there is to know about the latest trends and high street collections, so come along to one of the fashion shows and hear his tips on what's hot and what's not for this autumn.

ART
At the Royal West of England Academy of Arts from 21 October until Christmas you can see the 155 Autumn Exhibition, with over 500 works, including painting, printmaking, sculpture and architecture selected from open submission. This popular annual show comprises an eclectic mix of styles, media and subjects.

On 31 October we have Halloween! Traditional activities include trick-or-treating, costume parties, viewing horror films and visiting "haunted houses". Halloween originated under the name of Samhain as a Pagan festival among the Celts of Ireland and Great Britain. The term Halloween (and its older rendering Hallowe'en) is shortened from All-hallow-even, as it is the evening before "All Hallows' Day".


NOVEMBER
On 3 November on the Downs, come to see the Great Bristol Fireworks Fiesta!

Prepare to be dazzled by this spectacular fireworks display, featuring live stage entertainment and a new children's fireworks display.
Gates open 4.30pm, with the main fireworks display at 7pm followed by the bonfire and closing show on the Star fm stage. £5 to enter.

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason and plot,
I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

“November the Fifth” is also known variously as Bonfire Night, Fireworks Night, and Guy Fawkes Night – why is this celebrated in England? Guy Fawkes was a member of a group of English Roman Catholics who attempted to carry out "The Gunpowder Plot", an attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament and kill King James I of England, to protest Protestant rule, on 5 November 1605.

For many reasons his conspiracy didn’t work, he was captured and tortured in order to find out the names of his co-conspirators. They were arrested and after being found guilty, they were taken to Old Palace Yard in Westminster, where they were hanged, drawn, and quartered. Since then, we have made life-size replicas of Guy, collect money for the festival, and build a big fire (a bonfire) where we burn “him” and let off fireworks to symbolise the planned explosion in Parliament. We have also burned in effigy other unpopular people too, including former PM Margaret Thatcher!

FILM
From 20 – 25 November at the Watershed Cinema on the Harbourside, we have the Encounters International Film Festival.
Combining the very best live action shorts with the cream of animation, the new 'Encounters' is a major celebration of the present and future of short film-making, and will feature industry forums, five days of the best international and British shorts around, plus masterclasses, workshops, networking events and a prestigious awards ceremony.